Fast. Slow. Ho-ho-ho!"Santa nodded sagely. "Good idea. And batteries to go with, right?" Of course," Mrs. Claus confirmed. "What good's a vibrating dildo without batteries? So that settles that—one of the new Unicorn Hummers." But wait," Santa said, examining the stock. "What color? Seems they come in silver and gold." Oh, that's right," said Mrs. Claus. "Hm." Her keen eyes carefully regarded the Hummers, the sleekly smooth shafts gleaming in workshop light. "They're both very attractive." So let's just say gold," Santa said, about to toss the gold Unicorn 3-Speed Hummer into his sack.Mrs. Santa stopped him. "Gold might not go." What do you mean, 'might not go'?" You don't happen to know the color of Sandra's hair?" Mrs. Claus inquired. "We wouldn't want the Unicorn Hummer to clash."Santa Claus frowned. "Clash, smash," he mumbled under his breath, but he consulted the list again. "No, it doesn't say," Santa grumbled. He adjusted his specs. He cleared his throat and read, "'Sandra. The men-at-arms were obviously not the leader, and a woman, no matter how many bandits she had killed could not be the leader in the eyes of a man steeped in the tradition that women did not fight. “Good Sir, thank you for rescuing me and my caravan from those vicious thieves. May I ask your name so that I may know who saved me?”Janos answered, “My name is Janos, but I am not the leader of this band. The woman behind you is our leader. Say hello to Hippolyte, the erstwhile queen of the Amazons. She is the one who led your rescue.”The man turned around and bowed to Hippolyte. “Thank you, Madam Hippolyte for saving me and my caravan. Please forgive me for not recognizing who you were. I have never before met an Amazon, and I am honored to meet you now.”Hippolyte and the man, Jason by name, talked for a few minutes before the man asked what sort of reward would be appropriate. Hippolyte said, “We killed six bandits, so I think that 72 silvers would be the appropriate reward. Do you.
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